Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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