i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
