How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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