But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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