it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
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We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
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how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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