do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
