So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
