I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
