He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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