Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
