i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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