yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
