I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
