haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
