I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
His nipple licking is glorious
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