you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
