The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
3 2 1 whiskey
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I enjoy the company of your penis
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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