Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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