if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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