"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
