Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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