I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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