I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
