i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I need moral support for this bender
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
