Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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