It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
