I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize
