He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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