sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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