Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
