guys are not supposed to queef...right?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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