Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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