I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
