come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
