so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
