I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
