Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We have started to decorate penises.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
