Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
