As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
