just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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