I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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