had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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