I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize