Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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