Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
