I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Everclear isn't food dammit
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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