his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You're a waste of cheezeits
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
