Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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