She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
