did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
