god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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