I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
