Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
