this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
