I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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