After last night, I could never be a politician.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize