On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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