This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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