My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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