My friends, they love my intelligence
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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