I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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