u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I need moral support for this bender
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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