i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
