Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
