I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
